I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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