I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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