the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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