yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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