you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
