she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
