Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Drunk is not a location!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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