I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
