life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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