He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
only you would photoshop your dick
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
