Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
