best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
