I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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