the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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