Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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