He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
