im drinking this country out of the recession.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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