i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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