i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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