3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
