the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
