dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
