He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
