Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
