life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
