so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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