Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
