I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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