Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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