What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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