dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
