I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
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Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
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My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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