She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is it because I queefed?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
