The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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