remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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