I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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