Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
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My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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