Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
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Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
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this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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