I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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