Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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