No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
