so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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