i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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