I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
