There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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