How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
