thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
