I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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