Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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