the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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