Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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