YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
