I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
