I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
