Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
