He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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