Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
