I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize