I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I see more hoeing in ur future
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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