did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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