I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
