while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize