I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
